Specificity

I watched the water hit my bare legs and make its way down my waist. The trails it left behind ironically looked like a cartographer’s marking of a river. I turned my hand to study how the time I laid in this shower had pruned my fingers. Fading pen ink formed a sentence, I forgot I had written it on my palm before I slept. It had occurred to me as dialogue roamed through my head. I was responding and speaking to many ghostly figures, unattached to this world, familiar to people attached to this world. “I would like to spend my time this season being specific” I read it out loud so the water sticking to the shower curtain could hear me. This season? It felt longer than a few months, to me, like most seasons nowadays I don’t know how long they last, but they last as they must and end when also, they must. Specificity? I could have said intentionality, though specificity felt right at the time, as specificity felt more closely related to what I wanted to do in life, and intentionality felt more like a way of life. Specificity and intentionality feel like two different words to me. Last season and maybe a few seasons before that, I felt like I had allowed most things to be exactly what they were, and allowed for many digressions, nothing was wasted, but that was specific to not be specific, and allowed my soul to roam, searching for a path. Eventually, the paths of these rivers lead to a more specific destination, its stream combined and its power multiplied. It feels like a decision, to take all I’ve done, and aim toward the ocean, and beyond even that.

I slowly get up, careful not to knock anything down or hit something in this shower, I was barely able to lie down, and while standing I felt confined. I suddenly felt trapped. Why did I do things I didn’t want to? What was I doing with my life that led me to lie in an uncomfortably tight shower? At the very least, I would shower quickly, dry off, and jump into bed, but today the floor of the shower pulled me to it as if beckoning to cradle me in its coarse, calloused hands. I felt like the very confines of this shower were challenging me, forcing me to think of the other confines of my life. How I chose to lay in each of them, how I let each of their individual dry but warm hands cradle me. I made my decision. I pulled the curtain open and dried myself off with my brown towel. I wiped with my hand a clearing in the foggy mirror to take a look at myself. I spoke to who I saw in that mirror, “I will be spending this season with specificity, and I will get to where I am going. Even if I have to stand in the cold, I would rather do that than slowly decay in a warm shower in a cold and lifeless tub.”

Change

Dear Readers,

As always, I am grateful for your continued support on this journey, I have some updates and exciting changes to share with you.

1. The Audition Process: Unfortunately, I did not succeed through the audition process of the show I was speaking on. However, I firmly believe that every "no" brings me one step closer to that elusive "yes." The callback was a valuable experience, and I am embracing the lesson in my refusal with a flowing and stoic fervor, transpiring into my next actionable steps. Thankfully, it’s also audition season, so I have many chances to collect more refusals and get my yes.

2. Growth with the Warner Loughlin Technique: Over the past two months, I've immersed myself in the transformative teachings of the Warner Loughlin technique. The tools and insights provided not only enhance my acting skills but also serve as a spiritual connection to the characters I portray. It's a powerful method that continues to enrich my craft. This is my current and formal training which I aim to attend to daily.

3. Building the Future in California: In light of the Hollywood strike subsiding, I am actively reaching out to agents, managers, and casting directors, gearing up to secure representation in California. The foundation of my professional team is beginning to take shape, and I am excited about the possibilities that lie ahead. I can see the move to California materializing in front of me.

4. A New Focus for the Newsletter: Moving forward, I am reshaping the newsletter to provide more value to fellow actors. While I'll still share personal anecdotes and musings, the focus will be on my acting journey, industry insights, and intentional content that resonates with aspiring actors. No promise on this portion, but I am thinking of doing more character analysis on my blogs offering a unique perspective rooted in my own acting experience. I would offer a shortened version on this newsletter linking to the full article on my website.

5. Crafting Meaningful Content: I understand the importance of delivering valuable information, and I want this newsletter to be a source of inspiration and guidance for actors navigating their paths. I appreciate your understanding as I evolve the format to share insights more intentionally.

Thank you for being a part of this community and supporting me in every step of this incredible journey. Your encouragement is deeply meaningful to me, and I am excited to share the upcoming chapters with you.

Much love today and every day,

Matt Piper 🐅🌱

P.S. Feel free to share your thoughts and any topics you'd like me to cover in future newsletters. Your input is precious to me.