SPIRIT
EDITION #9

Table of Contents

• WARM NIGHTS ARE FOR REFLECTION

• SIGNPOST 🪧 - INTERO/EXTEROCEPTIVE TRAINING

• WHAT I’M WORKING ON

• MY CURIOSITY

SPIRITUALITY
WARM NIGHTS ARE FOR REFLECTION

YOU’VE COME A LONG WAY, HAVEN’T YOU MATT?

It’s starting to get warm now, isn’t it? The warm breeze at night makes blankets uncomfortable. The heat of a warm summer night, some may experience with discomfort, but for me, it wraps around gently and loosely like a blanket all on its own. It’s quiet, it’s reflective.

During the day I’ve been rushing, fighting to move forward daily. I eat, pray, and sleep personal growth and mastery, sometimes I let my guard down and the words “not enough” creep into my psyche. “Oh, you’re an actor? Have I seen you in anything?”

I take away the last of their half-eaten food, “No, probably not.” I wonder if anything would be good enough for them as I walk past the service line to the dish pit, scraping their waste into a trash can. I wonder if I’m good enough.

This warm weather can feel claustrophobic sometimes, heavy. Sometimes the cicadas, frogs, and crickets sound as if they’re laughing at you. Other times, like right now, I think of how far I’ve come in this life. Not just in acting, but in the person I am now.

I’ve come a long way. A long way from a kid playing video games for hours in his parent’s basement. A high school student with an ego the size of a hot air balloon. A college student who hardly knew who he truly was, and a mangled adopted foundation that didn’t suit him. A foundation that was cracked and crumbling for a while, and when it all fell apart he was still surprised.

From where I stand now, the entirety of my life has been a chance for me to learn, and grow. To uncover the truth of each mistake I’ve made, the lesson in every success. I’ve grown considerably these last few years. I’m more than just an actor, I’ll never amount to the ideal of anyone else, or even myself for that matter. However, I’ve far exceeded my expectations for a few years now.

The summer air at night time is quiet right now, there’s a low hum of anticipation from the world. I’m excited too. Excited for another day to grow, to learn, to play. I’ve come a long way, and when I look back later down the road, I’ll notice I’ve exceeded my expectations once again.

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