YouTube has been one of those “tried it and failed it” endeavors for the longest time, and I can’t even say if it’s something that’s going to stick for me quite yet.

However!

This is feeling different.

For those who have been with me from the beginning, you’ll know I tried very hard at YouTube for a little bit, and then burned out. You’ll know I tried it again, posting one video, then didn’t post again. Then I tried AGAIN, and burned out again.

I went through this cycle just about 4 times.

I’ve done this with social media, too. Instagram came and went for me.

I tried X… absolutely not.

Bluesky… better than X, but still no.

TikTok? So briefly, but no.

Facebook? Well… I’ve had it for a long time, does that count? Not quite.

And of course, it’s all the things that people tell you to as well.

“Make more social media posts so that you can grow your brand.”

“Make more social media posts so that you can make more money.”

“Make more social media posts so that you can have more content to funnel into the pipeline of already so much existing content.”

I remember when social media was just at its creation. It was quite literally only a reason for you to connect with your friends. That reason is still there, but it’s hidden behind advertisements, AI slop, and that one person you did happen to keep up with on social media, but now you're jealous of them because they’re doing so much better than you.

This is why I really don’t go on social media.

But there is STILL something different about YouTube for me.

More so, is that there is content that I actually enjoy consuming, and me creating on there? Well, I feel like I don’t have any platform-based limitations.

So, where am I at with YouTube?

Short answer… I’m still going, and will be continuing.

Long answer:

Earlier, I had been struggling to come up with ideas, moving my camera around the house, trying to film a “day in the life,” and then feeling like I didn’t even want to post it.

Or trying to come up with something clever, like 3 people talking to each other in one shot, all of them me.

There were a lot of ideas that were taking up space in my head, which was good.

However, to actually activate those ideas and make them exist inside of DaVinci Resolve, my video editor, was a completely different story.

This, on top of the fact that I wanted to make three videos per month at least.

Already, in one month, I was burning out.

There was this thought that I had while walking on the trail during the fall here in Ohio (Oh, how I miss fall).

I realized that my imagination was far more mature than my skill.

I had seen incredible films, incredible anime, watched incredible YouTube videos, read incredible books and stories and poems and plays, listened to incredible music and singers and musicians, and I have played incredible video games.

All, cultivating my imagination, as well as my taste.

But this taste and what I was seeing in my mind’s eye was far beyond what my actual skill was capable of creating in my specific craft.

So there was a part in me that was disappointed, like a disappointed and ashamed archetypal parent. That is what my taste became.

It looked down at everything I did, and when it didn’t meet the standards or expectations of this part of me, it would shun it, tell it to go back into hiding until it was actually ready to do it right.

However, the part of me that loved the craft, that enjoyed it, began to resent it, because if everything that was made resulted in something being critiqued and uncelebrated, then what was the point? It was much easier to just dream about doing it than actually do it.

And in realizing that this was happening within me, that this was the cycle, I had to figure out how to get these parts to sit at the same table and figure it out. Because I, Matt Piper, was kind of getting sick of it.

What my imagination needed to become was a mentor, a guide. Not a parent. It was playing a role that didn’t need to be played. So I stripped the process all the way down.

So there was this video I watched. A guy would sit down with his long flowing hair and brown glasses, a jean jacket or other colorful piece of garment, and his notebook, and he just sat in front of his camera and spoke. There was no text on the video, and there was no editing on the video.

His image looked amazing, and his topic and words were very clear. That was it.

I’m not going to compare my color grading ability to his, but I do have a spot in my room that I feel like is a good angle from natural lighting, I can add a little with the light I have, and I have a good microphone now, so really… that’s all I need.

With the time that I have in my full-time job, I figured this: What if I just worked on perfecting this ONE image? This ONE setup?

Because my taste wanted me somewhere that I wasn’t, I had to explain and convince it that I wasn’t there, and may not be there for a bit.

Now, with that being my practice, I have begun to feel free. Free in my creativity, as simple as it is now, and actually, thinking about it right now, which is much different than most times, I am excited to make my next YouTube video.

The video that is linked on this newsletter is a result of this. I am speaking to the camera; it’s an update on where I am, it’s a conversation. My growth in each of these videos is how I speak more succinctly, get to the point, or stay on topic.

But in all things, I’m improving, describing things more clearly, telling stories that bolster my point, which improves the ability for the person watching to “get it.”

That’s my practice when I step into the camera, to improve at being in front of the camera, and what better way of doing that than setting up the camera and trying your best not to cut. Then, while in the editor, how can you make this image look the best it can possibly be? How can I perfect it?

My main project is my book, but I also work on this too. There is a lot of growth happening here, and that excites me. I’ll be continuing my YouTube journey for you all, and I hope you stay tuned in.

While I’m here, what would you like me to speak about? Leave a comment on this post, or reply to this newsletter. I would love to hear from you.

One last thing.

I have five slots available as of right now to take on students. I focus on the Chekhov Technique, but bring other concepts into it. My goal, always, is to help you grow as a holistic human being who creates art. Using art as an avenue to do that and share it with others.

If you’re interested in interviewing for a slot, please sign up for a 30-minute session to see if this would be a good fit for you.

60-minute sessions will be $60
90-minute sessions will be $100

Wanna find out more? Sign up here.

https://calendly.com/matt-piper29/30min‌